A Wasted Christmas Story
by LoveBackwards
Summary: One-shot Out of boredom, it's decided a story will be told among a group of friends. BanksxKagura, HitenxAbi, SesshxKiky and...Naraku.


Kikyou: Ah! A commentary! 8D

Sesshomaru: …really? That excites you?

Kikyou: ….word.

Renkotsu: And…I'm still safe here.

Naraku: Use my house….-.-

Suikotsu: Why the fuck haven't I been able to sing Christmas songs in a year? Because you SLACK!

Kouga: Yeah!

Kikyou: She doesn't own Inuyasha!

-

Naraku felt his eyebrow twitch as Kikyou hummed a meaningless song behind him and Sesshomaru let out a sigh of defeat every few minutes.

"Ok, we're here, no more humming ok?" He asked in a sharp tone and she eagerly nodded her head, as though going to Naraku's house was a gift.

"I are hungry." She grinned.

"Am, dear, I am hungry." Sesshomaru corrected and she blinked up innocently to him. "…aw." He patted her head lightly and she nuzzled the top of her head against it. Naraku let out a gag and received Sesshomaru's harsh glare in return. He rolled his eyes, sighed, and went inside…then felt his eyebrow twitch.

"So I was like…." Bankotsu stopped when Naraku cleared his throat from the doorway. "Ayo?" He asked and tilted his head.

"Why are you in my house?" He demanded.

"…hey." Kagura scoffed.

"Well…my girlfriend…" He sheepishly pointed to Kagura, who stuck her tongue out to Naraku.

"And I am here…" Hiten started, "for my boyfriend." He pointed at Bankotsu and Kikyou snickered but stopped when Sesshomaru nudged her.

"I'm here because my….boyfriend…." Abi weakly pointed to Hiten from his lap and Naraku pinched the spot between his eyes.

"Why…my house?"

"We love you?" Bankotsu smiled and blinked and Kagura face-palmed. Naraku let out his final sigh of defeat and threw himself on the recliner. Sesshomaru sat beside Hiten and Abi on the couch and Kikyou jumped on his lap.

"Soo…take it you 'badasses' were gunna smoke today?" Bankotsu asked, letting a sly smirk appear on his face.

"Actually…I'm out." Naraku shrugged.

"And that means…I'm out." Kikyou paused. "…what the fuck am I going to do today, Naraku? Always think of yourself don't you? You, you, you." She imitated with hand gestures and he chose to ignore it.

"Shhh…" Sesshomaru lightly stroked her hair and she stopped ranting with a purr.

"So…then…what?" Hiten asked with a blink while Abi played with what little bangs he had.

"…you can continue your conversation." Sesshomaru shrugged.

"Actually…it was about your mother so in all respects I'll stop." Bankotsu sighed and Sesshomaru twitched but remained silent.

"…her being a gold-digging whore or a rich bitch?" Kikyou asked and he glared. "…was too open." She pecked his lips.

"So…how are you planning to waste your afternoon…in my house?" Naraku asked, still annoyed where they were.

"…nothing." Abi blinked.

"Well this sucks…" Hiten frowned.

"Let's tell stories!" Kikyou chimed.

"NO!" Naraku sat upright in his chair and the entire room got silent and blinked at him. "No…fucking stories." He muttered the rest.

"I think someone's anti-Christmas." Hiten winked and Naraku shook his head.

"Ooh, I wanna tell!" Bankotsu raised his hand excitedly.

"Hm….since I suggested it….I pick…." Kikyou bit her bottom lip and hesitantly scanned the room, purposely going by the only arm waved in the air more than once. "Ba…Hiten!" She called and Bankotsu let out a loud groan.

"Since I'm such a nice person, I'll pass to Banks." He shrugged and Bankotsu cockily stuck his tongue out at Kikyou, who yanked and twisted it.

"OW!"

"Start the freakin' story." She spat and shoves his face back so he fell over the couch.

"You are so getting it…one day in life….and it won't be from me." He nodded his head to Sesshomaru, who stared curiously at him. "…always gotta watch the quiet ones." Bankotsu nodded and crawled back on Kagura's lap.

"Start the story." Kagura sighed as she pet his bangs.

"OK…so…it was a dark and stormy night…." Bankotsu started.

"Hold the fuck up…it's Christmas, not Halloween." Hiten objected.

"And…it's _my_ story." BAnkotsu argued.

"Since when is Christmas depressing?" Abi blinked.

"Why are you all criticizing me?" He scoffed.

"Why do your stories suck?" Kagura rolled her eyes.

"If you elected me…"

"We didn't…Hiten's the dumbass that passed it on." Naraku waved his hand boredly.

"Well in my defense, Kikyou started it." Hiten shrugged.

"And in my defense your mom started it by giving birth to you, raising you local to me, and thus allowing you to be here for me to pick." Kikyou held her nose high, ignoring the odd stares she was receiving.

"Yo…I think she just burned you." Bankotsu blinked.

"Oh I so did." Kikyou replied smugly.

"Wait, before we start another fight…just….let Bankotsu finish." Abi sighed, already seeing the willing to argue in Hiten's scarlet eyes.

"Thank you, _Abi_." Bankotsu glared at everyone else, most who let out sighs.

"Yeah…thank _you_… Abi." Naraku closed his eyes and folded his hands across his chest.

"Ok…so, like I said, it was a dark and stormy night." Bankotsu nodded.

"Doesn't it snow around Christmas time?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Not in Florida it doesn't." He pointed out.

"So wait…this stories set in Florida?" Hiten looked up.

"Ok…know what? It was a dark, windy, snowy night with an 80% chance of lightening and possible thunder showers." Bankotsu twitched and Kagura, Abi, and Kikyou snickered. "And I was driving down the road…Christmas Eve night."

"I get the feeling you're making this story up as you go." Hiten frowned and Bankotsu stared.

"Isn't….that what I'm supposed to do?"

"Well…if you don't think at least a little ahead…it might have a sucky ending." He shrugged.

"Oh god I hate that…good plot, had potential, bad ending." Kikyou agreed.

"Are you guys gunna let me finish my story?" Bankotsu asked with slight impatience in his voice.

"Ok, ok, thought I was helping you out." Hiten held his hands up in defense.

"So I was driving to get home…"

"Were you cheating on my sister again?" Naraku looked over.

"Huh?" Bankotsu blinked while Kagura glared at her elder brother.

"Y'know…you like to 'play the field' and well…this story seems to be occurring late night, you're rushing home…" He shrugged.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Bankotsu shook his head.

"Is this like what happened to that golf player?" Kikyou asked and Naraku sighed.

"No dear." He lightly patted her head.

"Oh…ok…so were you sleeping with Yura again in this story?" She asked.

"No…I was just at _work_…"

"What they _all_ say." Hiten sighed dramatically.

"Alright…fuck you all, I'm finishing." Bankotsu muttered nonsense under his breath before going on. "So I'm driving home from work and nothing but work so help me god." He explains and Naraku sighs.

"Still didn't get a definite answer." He rolls to his side on the recliner.

"And as I pull up at a gas station, I see this old man, right?"

"Oh god a stalker." Kikyou covered her face.

"And I pump the gas in my car, pay, whatever. As I'm about to leave I hear the old man say 'Oh dear'…and being the nice guy I am…" Bankotsu stops when he heard Naraku laugh, "_nice guy I am_," He repeats more assertively, "I ask what the problem is. He tells me about how he has to get all the way across the city by tonight to see his granddaughter he flew out from…Florida to see."

"Dumbass…leave the warmth for a snowstorm." Hiten shook his head and Abi lightly nudged him.

"So I ask what the issue was…y'know, his car or whatever. So he runs his stubby fingers through his beard and…"

"And you get turned on." Kikyou winks and Bankotsu shudders. "Tch, you know you like that."

"Anyways, he says he's short to pay his gas and thought he had extra money…so I ask how much he needs and he says 10 so…I give it to him. He smiles at me and his rosy cheeks light up. He says 'Good things are gunna happen to you one day'." Bankotsu nods.

"Guess he didn't know you that well." Naraku shrugged and Bankotsu flipped off the back of Naraku that was facing him.

"So I go home or whatever and see a strange folded up piece of paper on the coffee table in my living room."

"You don't have one of those." Abi blinks.

"It's my fantasy, so I'm rich here." Bankotsu rolls his eyes. "Duhh, so I open it up and it says: 'Dear Bankotsu…"

"You shouldn't help strange old men at the gas station that resemble me…" Sesshomaru finishes.

"No, it says, thanks a bunch, Love, Santa…and there's my ten dollars."

"That's…it?" Kagura blinks and they all then realize the light snore coming from the recliner.

"Aw, I thought it was cute." Abi smiled and pinched Bankotsu's cheek.

"Hah."

"But…I'm cute…" Hiten whispered and she sighed and smothered him.

"Well…Merry Freakin' Christmas….let's not quit our day jobs for this." Kikyou sighed and everyone nodded in agreement.

-

**A/N: OK…I don't know who keeps up with my other stories, but my laptop has crashed and I have a lot of updates to….redo (ewh). Soo…maybe I'll finish my original Christmas fic this year….I hope. Review!**


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